Alec Baldwin has candidly revealed the profound psychological impact of the tragic shooting incident on the set of the film Rust, disclosing that he has experienced suicidal thoughts since the event. The 67-year-old actor has been navigating a complex landscape of grief and legal challenges since the fatal incident that took place in October 2021, when a prop gun he was handling discharged, resulting in the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and injuries to director Joel Souza.
In an emotional appearance on the podcast “Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction” in December 2025, Baldwin described his mental state as one of overwhelming despair. He articulated his feelings of being broken by the experience, stating, “It broke every nerve in my body. Spiritually, financially… work-wise, my career, my wife, my kids, my friends, my health.” The actor noted that the emotional fallout from the incident has led him to question the desire to continue living, a reality he described as deeply troubling.
Baldwin reflected on the significant toll the investigation and public scrutiny have taken on his well-being. He expressed that at times the suffering was so intense that he struggled to face another day. “When you get to that point where you go, ‘I don’t want to wake up another day, I’m gonna go’—it’s really kind of unappealing to me because to talk about killing yourself and to actually kill yourself are two so profoundly distinctive things,” he shared.
The actor’s mental health challenges have been exacerbated by a formal diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as revealed by his wife, Hilaria Baldwin. On their reality series, she described him as a “shadow of his former self,” grappling with survivor’s guilt. Baldwin’s struggles have affected his daily life, leading him to experience difficulties in performing simple tasks, including spending time with his children, which he noted was out of character for him.
The challenges for Baldwin and his family continue as they face ongoing legal pressures. In late December 2025, he was hit with a new lawsuit filed by Seth Kenney, the owner of the company that supplied ammunition for the Rust film set. Kenney alleges that Baldwin and others involved in the production scapegoated him for the incident, which adds yet another layer of stress to Baldwin’s already complicated life.
Despite the mounting pressures, Baldwin remains focused on his family, expressing concern for their well-being. “I always feel more in pain about you than me,” he told Hilaria, acknowledging the impact of the tragedy on her life. As he continues to navigate this challenging chapter, Baldwin’s story serves as a sobering reminder of the human consequences that can arise when the boundary between fiction and reality is tragically blurred.
As Baldwin reflects on these experiences, he underscores that the nightmare is far from over, both for him and his family, and the emotional scars from that day in October 2021 remain vivid and painful.
